What I'm Missing

During the process of buying my condominium a lot of paperwork had to be filed. I learned that when you are buying property, you have to apply for a mortgage through a mortgage broker or in our case a bank. Then comes the decision of whether or not to get your mortgage insured. I had no idea why this would make a difference until my boyfriend and I sat down and discussed the pros and cons of getting our mortgage insured. Apparently if your mortgage is insured, in the event of you or your spouse dying, losing a limb or becoming a quadrapalegic your mortgage will be paid off in full. While my boyfriend and I are both healthy, young individuals I still believed we should apply for mortgage insurance. I am one of those people who prepares for the worst while hoping for the best. I get piece of mind knowing that I am ready for the worst possible outcome. In the unlikely situation that something could happen to my boyfriend, I wanted to know that our mortgage would be taken care of. So we applied for mortgage insurance. When applying for insurance, these guys want your ENTIRE medical history. Abnormal test results, medication you've taken, conditions or diseases you've suffered from, etc. etc. the list went on and on. It was during this round of paperwork that I had to answer questions on my family history. Have you or any member of your family been diagnosed with or passed away from cancer? Yes. Have you or any member of your family been diagnosed with or passed away from a stroke? Yes.
Unfortunately if you check yes to a certain number or combination of questions the insurance company then sends you more paperwork, to get an in depth medical history regarding your health in the last six months. I just filled out that form and mailed it in yesterday.
After dropping it off in the mailbox, my boyfriend and I went for a walk around the neighbourhood and it dawned on me, that what I'm missing throughout this whole condo - mortgage - insurance ordeal is my dad. I wish he were around so I could seek his advice in matters such as mortgages, insurance, loans, buying property, going back to school etc. I feel like if my dad were still alive he would be the one I would turn to for questions regarding these issues. Not that my mum isn't capable of dealing with my million questions, she has been incredibly supportive and given me great advice. I just miss my dad, I miss having another parent to turn to when considering such huge life changes such as buying a condo or going back to school. I also know my dad was extremely smart and saavy when it came to these things and his input would've been so valuable.
I am not sure what my life would be like today were my dad still alive. I am not sure I would've made all the choices I did or chose the paths I've walked. I don't know if my mum and I would be as close after going through quite a few rough patches...would we even have gone through those rough patches if my dad were around? I don't know. All I know is I miss him still so much, almost twelve years later and I wish he were alive to see everything that is going on and to talk to me about the changes I am making. So that is what I am missing in my life. And missing something so huge as my dad helps me remember that I am lucky to have everything else. I like to think that even though he isn't physically around that somehow he knows what I am doing with my life and is proud.