A Bit of Freedom

Approximately seven months ago I moved into my boyfriend's mothers house to give our bank accounts a rest after spending almost $400 a month to see each other. I also made this move to see if our relationship had weight and would be something long-lasting and meaningful. This move was not done to "test" of our relationship, it was done with the pure desire to be closer to each other geographically and with the hopes that living together under the same roof would bring us closer together emotionally, mentally, and physically. And all those things have happened!
However there have definitely been some things I have had to adjust to in the past seven months. The main one being living with someone else's mother; a mum who is pretty much the complete 180 of my mum. Let me explain.
My mum is literally a 5'0 version of the energizer bunny. She is an educational assistant working for the Catholic School Board during the day and is also a licensed travel agent that works from home. She is busy from the moment she wakes up to the moment she goes to bed, rarely stopping in between to eat or catch her breath. She takes care of travel business in the mornings and when she gets home from school. Often on her lunch breaks as well. If there is a moment where she finds herself in a lull at home, she cleans the house, does yardwork on our 1/2 acre property, visits family and spends time with her boyfriend. She occupies her nights with yoga, curling (in the winter), line-dancing, and date nights. Every weekend during the winter months she travels on Friday afternoon to our cottage north of Barrie and returns to the city on Sunday afternoons. I call home almost on daily basis, at least 5 times a week, and it's a 50/50 chance I'll catch my mum at home. She is literally on the go all the time. When I lived at home with my mum I woke up to lists of chores that needed to be done and I did them with no arguments because it takes a lot of work to look after our home. Living at home I'd usually have the house to myself 4-5 nights a week because my mum is always in and out the door. It wasn't surprising when I'd come home at around 9pm to find my mum crashed on the couch and I'd gently wake her up and guide her upstairs to her bed.
My mum has been on this vigorous schedule since a few years after my dad passed away. She has told me time and time again she would rather be too busy than not have enough to do. It started out as a distraction from everything she lost when my dad passed away and now she thrives on having things to do. I worry about her sometimes, that she is too busy and too stressed out but she rarely complains and when she does I just listen quietly because I know she needs an outlet. So that is a snapshot of my mum.
The current mum I live with, my boyfriends mother, is quite a different mum. I'll call her Mrs. Mom to make it easier to read and type instead of referring to her as my boyfriends mum. As I mentioned before she is about as opposite from my mum as can be. Whereas my mum is out 4-5 nights a week, Mrs. Mom goes out about once a month. She will meet her girlfriends for dinner at the local pub for a couple of hours and then return home. She is a retired daycare provider. Mrs. Mom opened and ran a daycare with a friend of hers for twenty some odd years and retired only a few years ago. She raised 4 children in their current home up until the ages of around 18 and you would never know it from the state of her home. It is spotless. Spotless to the point where it almost lacks a certain kind of homey-ness. Anyway back to the point, Mrs. Mom does not go out. She does her errands (grocery shopping, dry-cleaning, etc.) during the morning and is home by noon or 1:00pm the latest. After that she does not go out. She keeps herself busy by cleaning. She does my laundry, my bf's laundry, vacuums, cooks dinner every night, takes out the garbage, washes the floors, cleans the bathrooms, dusts...basically she does everything! When I first moved in I offered countless times to do my laundry, to do the dishes, to cook, to help out in any way I could and I was turned down each time. Her reasoning for doing my laundry was that she was doing hers and my bf's anyway so she might as well put my clothes in the washer and dryer too. I found that a very hard thing to accept because I like to feel useful, I like feeling like I am contributing. I started doing my own laundry when I was 12 and like I said, I am used to waking up and finding lists of chores to do. I manage to empty the dishwasher and that's the only chore I am permitted to do.
I found this incredibly hard to deal with but my bf put it into perspective. Mrs. Mom is retired so her house is her job now. She makes her day full by cleaning things and doing chores. She also has a bad hip, which she is getting replaced during a surgery in May, that prevents her from going out more often because walking is painful for her. These are the things I remind myself when I find myself suffocating under her mom-ness. She is incredibly sweet and incredibly caring. She goes out of her way to buy groceries that she knows we like. She caters to the fact that I don't eat red meat and cooks a lot of meals with chicken or fish as an alternative.
But as of yesterday bf and I have the house to ourselves for 6 days because Mrs. Mom has flown to England to spend time with one of her daughters and her granddaughter. So for the next 6 days the bf and I are enjoying a bit of freedom that we haven't had since January. We have not been alone in the house since January...it's incredible when you think about it like that. But that is the reality of this house and Mrs. Mom. She has been kind enough to let me live with her, to feed me, to clean up after me even though I protest this and have to be sneaky in order to contribute. She doesn't charge us rent or take any kind of monetary contributions for food or bills. So I buy her flowers every few weeks and desserts when we have big dinners. I fill up her car with gas whenever I get a chance and carry the laundry upstairs because it hurts her to walk up the stairs with the basket, even though she'd never complain. I don't want to take chores away from her because these are the things she does to keep busy and keep herself fulfilled. So I sit back and try my best to help where I can without overstepping boundaries.
It's been an interesting seven months to say the least, and I'm so lucky to have two mums who care about me. However I am going to thoroughly enjoy these six days of freedom.